"Here I come to sit and think, and all I do is shit and stink" -Gunsmoke Truckstop, Buena Vista, CO

"Anyone can shit on the floor, Be a hero - Shit on the ceiling"  The Outback Saloon, Boulder, CO

"What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands."  -Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

"For a good time call your mom."  -Rico Theatre, Rico, CO

"Shit doesn´t happen, assholes make it happen"  YoHo Hostel, Salzburg, Austria

"A good friend will come bail you out of jail.  A True friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'That was fucking awesome'"  YoHo Hostel, Salzburg, Austria